I Attempted Suicide Once - Dr. Meloku

Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has a song to sing, every tongue has a ballad to pass on, and everyone has a journey to make, everyone has a beginning and
an end, everyone has a wish and a dream. But not everyone has the courage to start, not everyone has the tongue to sing his song, and not everyone has the mouth to tell his story or the courage to pencil it down. 

Today, I borrow the courage to tell my story of a cracked life, of a life smeared with the mud of its ebbs and punched with malicious savors but a victorious end. My life began slowly on the hill top of Malaga village a million miles from the nearest city, we were planted on this lonely hill watched by the heavenly galaxies, though I hadn’t seen an Edison’s incandescent bulb, nor a China’s tech, though I hadn’t seen a city’s street nor the western skyscrapers but deep in my soul was an innate desire to build an incandescent bulb to glow bright as the gentle moon and flood my dark village with her glorious rays. This became my sleeping and waking thought. 

Joyfully, I nursed this noble ambition however, a black Friday surfaced in her early hours greeting me with neighbors unending wails and sporadic gun shots signifying the transition of a male soul to eternity and that soul was no other than my lovely father. My five year- old strength could not carry this unexpected gunshot; it sent me tumbling like a pack of cards, dismembering my bones like a poison to my soul. 

With Mama’s (so my mother was called by the community because of her unparallel virtues) sudden death when I was three, I knew life was not at par with my dreams, I knew my dreams were at stake at just age five without the tenderness of a mother and the protection of a father, I knew life has conscripted me into manhood. 

As you well imagine, growing up was not a funny match, but I kept keeping on with my dreams. However, my puny strength fainted a thousand times, on a very dark day that I can’t recall I bargained taking away my fleeting breathe at least to join Mama and Papa, besides, if where they are isn’t nice why haven’t they take a journey back home I always thought, but this was the silliest ambition I have ever nursed and watered. 

In real terms the beauty of life deserted me and I watered this stupid mission or desire of taking the path of suicide so strongly night and day, at the 25th year of my earthly sojourn I was tired of living in the land of the living, I was tired of breathing but not living, I was alone, alone in a wild wide world devoid of care, concern and love. Although, I did know a little about God, prayer and Christian faith but at this time heaven and earth were locked up against me. Heaven was so far, far away and the earth and her blows were so close like the door. 

Yes, it was my last five hundred naira that I used in buying the noose with which I was to hang myself; I bought it two days before my fixed date of self Crucifixion, I did survey the venue I wanted to carry out the act, I recall It was on a doruwa tree far away in a bush, on that fateful dark bright Friday, the compound was deserted, everybody had gone to the labor hub, I walked out from my room with already completed strategy and decision however, the chillness of the gentle braze that blow on the mango tree right at the compound of Mrs. Chuks invited me to a least have a minute offer of earth’s free gift, so I sat. 

A miracle happened; Haruna the manager of a big supermarket came running and breathing heavily towards me and for me. He solicited my attention and companionship and pleaded with me that I should tell him the secret of my life that he loves my comportment and he would like to be like me. adding that my life inspires him. Wonder of all wonders, a man that was a minute away from committing suicide was been revered and appreciated, I felt totally ashamed of myself for losing hope in life, at this moment, the thought of suicide melted into hell and life returned backed to me, I remembered my dreams and goals and received rugged faith and strength to trek on. 

Looking back, I thank God through Jesus Christ the redeemer, for that miraculous deliverance; I knew it was him who sent Haruna to come to my rescue. He has been with me all through the waters and fires of life; he has turned my life around for good. Life is good; life is worth living through God’s free grace in Christ Jesus.

national lifewatch amazing stories series.